Change aint change until you change...

[readers beware] This is clearly a blog about the New Year and Resolutions of such, yes; we are all aware that we can dictate our prosperous planning and/or changing of life on any day of the year but, who wants to do that? New Years is very much significant to most and it is just more fun that way. [ho have a seat!] As much as I would love to speak for everyone else, [I don't, really] personal endeavors are most concerning.

2009 has been a year like no other in my lifetime. I have been poor [no not the joking, laughing I'm poor; but EBT card poor! lol] moved off campus, homeless of sorts, lost my passion and a plethora of inspiration, found it again, lonely, friendless and so forth. Nevertheless, I am grateful for every event that has taken place ushering me one step closer into a place of living in my fullest potential and taking me to the next course in my life. That being said, these are the five thing that I will endure and accomplish with the duration of 2010, believe it or not.

1. Move to NYC. [we're pretty close to crossing this one off the list, t-16 days.]

2. Learn to speak spanish fluently. [not just catch phrases like, (wendy voice) "how u doin?"]

3. GYM/YOGA [ I do well with regiments and deadlines; physical health is important people! skinny does not always = healthy]

4. Gabe. [those who know me know that I dream of a yorkie named Gabe! lol]

5. Read at least 12 books. [I am indeed an avid reader, but for whatever the reason haven't read many books in 2009, I dedicate myself to at least 1 a month.]

well, there you have it. My list, My goals, My aspirations for 2010. [I sincerely pray you find your own and live up to them.]

"No matter what age group or demographic you’re in, 2010 is now and you are its generation."

Wishing you LOVE, PROSPERITY, HOPE, HUMILITY, HAPPINESS, SELF-REVELATION and so much more for 2010,

P E A C E .

To Whom it May Concern:

your eyes are enlightening; your smile unequivocal.

your beauty is spontaneous;your eyes life shattering.

your elegance is a beam of sunlight, i can barely stand your glow;

your embrace is a fairytale enchanted; a story that never ends.

your temperament is a batch of accoutrements finely tuned to balance my own;

your soul is a star in the sky, the brightest, in fact; that gives me warmth to supersede great expectations and reach my dreams.

you are a magical being, and I delight in the fact that you allow me to peruse your shadow...

P E A C E .

In the face of the unexpected, you never know what gonna happen tomorrow; but, I want to live...

I loathe the fact that it always takes me so long to post a new blog. I don't know why that is; especially because I’m constantly reading and/or researching something, but, better late than never I suppose. I guess the most prevalent thing [in my life anyway] to talk about is my move to New York City, [concrete jungle where dreams are made of] Well, I am indeed making that leap of faith and moving to New York with no job, no place to live, and hardly any money. to be honest, I don't want to talk about this, maybe because I have spoken to so many people about it and answered [re answered] the same questions, but I am not going to engage any further; [unless questions are asked]

moving on...

okay, [I cant think of anything else, so] back to square one.

I am moving due to a series of unfortunate [fortunate] events that have naturally taken place in my life; honestly, at this point they are neither here nor their. FACT: I told myself in 2005 when I graduated high school that I would move to NYC and immediately dive into an acting career. [I did not] FACT: I told myself the whole year that I took off that I would go to AMDA or another performing arts school in New York and begin my acting career. [Again, it did not happen] On the contrary, I went to Norfolk State University [Behold the green and gold!] FACT: [is this getting old yet or is it just me?] My duration at NSU I told myself that I would never graduate college, [those were never my intentions] and that it was just a spot filler until I would be able to jump start my career.. trueish?!?

The point I am trying to make is that I wholeheartedly believe that God [life to others] has put me in a place or space where I am currently able to manifest the destiny that I have proclaimed for myself. I have spoke life into the aforementioned words and many others. I started telling people that I was famous in middle school. I have never doubted myself or my abilities and have always spoken a prosperous future no matter the endeavor. That being said I don't dwell in the mishap or “unfortunate” event that lead me to this place; I bask in the opportunity to live a dream; a life for that matter with no fear, regret, or self-consciousness. I am grateful for the experience that is to come January 15, 2010.

P E A C E .

I owe it to Barack Obama to go to Law School

okay, its been a while so I am going to write this blog; not only out of necessity, but as another opportunity to vent and try to come to some peace with things going on in my mind. [i promise I'm not crazy...pinky.] For about the past few years of my college career; [sings: I just want it to be over- Keyshia Cole] I have been single handedly dealing with the greatest debate of my life, upon graduation [it it ever indeed comes] do I go to law school or pursue my life long dream of becoming an actor...

[backstory]

Tuesday, October 28, 2009; four of the best friends, [at that time] ventured off to see Barack Obama. [one of my biggest inspirations] We walked from Norfolk State University to Harbor Park, feeling the energy of the world and wanting to relive [in our own way] the monumental moment of past generations. [Martin Luther King Jr.] We waited in line for hours huddled up together, brought pins and took pictures. I have never [and probably will never] feel anything like it again. [not in this lifetime] long story short- after the speech we got to shake Obama's hand, just before he was elected President. [The moment that made me view everything differently] I was thrilled, inspired, giddy, overwhelmed, grateful, astonished... [the list goes on] I read Dreams from My father and only appreciated this great man [my mentor whether he knows it or not] more and more...

[back to the story, I feel like I'm rambling and am not nearly taking as much time to articulate this epic moment half as eloquently as i should...] so, yeah, I often feel conflicted as what I should do with my life and tell people, [half jokingly] that I owe it to Obama to go to law school. The fact of the matter is, that i do indeed believe I owe it to the first Black President of the United States of America to go to law School; to be connected with the community of this world and affect change; to widen my horizon prospectively; to attain knowledge in every way possible. [i could go on, but wont.] I feel it would be completely selfish of me to become an actor without at least pursuing a degree of higher education and defaming the names of the ancestors whose backs I stand on. [thats heavy ya'll read it again.]

Padre brought something to my attention earlier today as he reminded me, "You don't owe it to Obama you owe it to me" he was completely right as we continued to discuss the issue, and i say to you all, [but will use myself as to keep it personal and not step on any toes]

I owe not only Barack Obama a degree of higher learning in law [my choice]

I owe Martin Luther King Jr;Malcolm X,;Rosa Parks;Hill Harper; Angela Bassett;Cornell West; Sojourner Truth; Oprah Winfrey... [okay you get the picture, I'm not gonna talk your head off]

I do however, wish to say that as a society and the Black community we forget the connection we have to each other and past generations. I equate whole heartedly, not going to grad school to not voting [without any shame or regret] we [HAVE] to wake up and realize that its bigger than us and our own personal agenda's, its more than just substantiating myself as a prestigious Black man [ i could do that with any career] its about stabilizing and connecting the generations before me with those to come and making my mark on this world completely organic; For it is indeed [MY] (as in our) responsibility to prepare our backs for the next generation to stand on...

P E A C E .

Dear S A N T A....

i like boys,

but not just any boy.

In particular,

a certain type

of boy.

Charming Intelligence,

Confident Approach,

Brilliant Style,

Devastating Timbre,

handsome of course;

Im usually attracted to

a light skinned boy.

tall [-er] than me,

treading the thin line between confident and cocky.

pretty brown eyes [sings Amerie ft Trey Songz YUUUP]

great speaking voice,

anything else?

certainly;

self driven, motivated.

affectionate, when appropriate,

family oriented,

likes to read and enjoys good books, movies, plays, and television.

LOVE.

KEiTH ANDRE.

P.S. [please reply, if my wish list is too long; Im sure amendments can be amendments can be made to ensure we produce the best product.]

P E A C E .

Tis so sweet...

As I sit here in solitude; silence, but not really. The fireplace crackles at my back, the power is out so I figure I will take a second and reflect.

on what?

idk yet. Haven’t made up my mind. I guess we can start with the obvious and see where it gets us. There is a severe flood warning from now [Wednesday] until Friday. I like to think of it as a monsoon outside! [thats one of my favorite words.] The wind is ridiculous; leaves are polluting the yards and the rain refuses to cease. My brother is sitting here listening to my ipod, Padre in his “studio” moving drums around, and I, on my macbook [smiley face] itunes on shuffle, of course, currently listening to Mariah Carey, Candy Bling. The more I grow and learn the more aware I become of the fact that Music is indeed a religion, healer, friend; to name a few. I mean, every song has a distinct and succinct sound vicariously carried out through the instrumentation with the help of a singer in order to effectively communicate with me. [i’ll make this personal.] Only the songs that touch my spirit, one way or another, are even allowed into the sanctuary of my itunes library. Each song downloaded at a specific time in the midst of a specific situation in order to give me the encouragement, reinforcement, humility; or whatever it may be, to go on with life. [It gets extremely hard you know] The presence of God is felt [or “the magic happens”] when praise and worship begins. After over 200 songs have “filled the sanctuary” which is almost always on shuffle, the very one my spirit yearns to be heard is played; as if my ipod knows me. A song that I rarely hear, a song that I even forgot was downloaded, or my favorite song at the moment. It gives me life, makes me cry, think, or write. I am truly inspired by the music and can get through any situation. The “pastor” is not genre [analogous to race] specific. He or She may be gospel, rock, rap, neo-soul or r and b. Pastor is rarely long winded but each moment of our time together is precious and affective. The positivity resounds in my spirit and by alter call I am complete; equipped and prepared for the upcoming week and can’t wait to get back. Fortunately enough, I have God, know him personally, and have him to get me through everyday of the week. [listen to ipod everyday.] To be honest it is our personal relationship that completely outcasts and overshadows anything or anyone else.

P E A C E .

it begins... [LESSON LEARNED]

I find myself at a completely staggering stage in life that I accept whole heartily. These past few weeks have been quite interesting and life changing. [I'll give you the 'GOOSE' as I see fit. lol] So, everyone has an "Inner Circle" of friends whom they love, cherish, consider family even. My group, the core people I've spent countless hours with these past three years, are rapidly beginning to dissipate from my life. [don't feel sorry, I don't.]

Why?

Who knows, there could be a plethora of reasons. The fact that some have graduated? Maybe the time allotted for us to be away from each other has made us grown apart... I think it has to do with what I like to call [growing pains] contrary to popular belief they're a good thing. These days I get disgusted so easily by friends who display no couth, ignorance and especially negativity. [i throw up negativity and throw it away!]

Remember the good old days? the late night conversations, intense arguments, movie nights and dreams of how we [three] would be together forever? at each others wedding and completely immune to the tiffs and taffs of any other friendships not able to withstand [the college years?]

well.... those days are long gone. Surprisingly, I feel better than ever; completely comfortable with the fact that were "beefing" [as they say] or don't speak everyday or at all [to some.]

Why?

maybe because back then I was desperate for friendship? longing for acceptance? ignorant to the fact that I too was "worthy" of male accompaniment? Perhaps their are other things to talk about besides you?

either way... I am in a place of peace. [thank you God] I've found peace and a (piece) of mind. [shout outs to L. Boogie.] Although I'll never stop loving you [y'all because lord knows its more than one.] I've realized to be wary of people. Not because their bad friends, or don't care about you; but because if your not careful they can [STUNT] your growth. Not only that, but your spirit becomes vexed and overwhelmed.

With what?

the constant gossip or venomous poisons being spread about [everyone]? being the "chosen friend" responsible for all the secrets and boyfriend/girlfriend drama? worrying that if I'm somehow not available or don't answer your call will i be cast into exile unworthy of being [YOUR] friend?

idk... but one thing I can say; [LESSON LEARNED]

hoping to hear from you soon.

later days.

WELCOME

This is my first attempt at blogging, so bear with me and give me a minute to catch up. After reading lots a blog im always left with something missing... me. So, I am starting my own. welcome to M*U*S*E

What's to come?

All things that inspire me, hints the title: M*U*S*E meaning, this blog will deal with politics, entertainment, FASHiON of course, and social commentary... let the games begin.

see ya soon,

KEiTH ANDRE`